“Why are so many men and women in their 20s and 30s wandering around America living alone and looking confused?” - attr. to Chen Guangcheng, possibly apocryphal
On August 11th, 1841, Soren Kierkegaard, a 29 year-old Danish theology student of very melancholy temperament tending towards the anxious, broke off his engagement to the, by all accounts, beautiful 18-year old Regine Olsen. He thought there was something he had to do. What this ‘something’ was, was - to both contemporaries and posterity - somewhat unclear. He spent the rest of his life living alone in various apartments in Copenhagen and producing some of the most original and beautiful works in the history of philosophy, a discipline admittedly not known for its originality or its beauty. He garnered some renown in his own lifetime, but more hostility and resentment. He was a guy that stood up a beautiful young girl and then chose not to marry at all, but to spend the rest of his life alone. The townsfolk were nonplussed. He and Regine ‘bumped into’ each other exactly once afterwards (at church, of course), but no words were spoken. Regine nodded silently to him. In fact, despite all that passed between them, they never spoke to each other again.
What did Kierkegaard think he had to do? Now, of course, we know that he would become a famous philosopher, the anxious fountainhead of ‘existentalism’, and a world-historical thorn in Hegel’s world-historical side. While some of that may have been conscious to Soren at the time, I think he knew that articulating it in public - or private - would seem well, unpolitical. Certainly unChristian, and in 19th Century Denmark, those things were one and the same. We can know say that Kierkegaard suffered from what I am going to call Religious Anxiety. He was training to be a priest and he did not believe the old stories. He had serious private doubts about the metaphysical truth of Christianity. He knew he and his young wife were not going to live together in eternity, they were just going to live together. And more importantly, he knew he could not share this with his significant other. This failure at direct communication in life produced some of the most profound indirect communication in literature (which was itself further divided into even more direct and indirect communication).
I have always found Lukac's essay The Foundering of Form Against Life; Soren Kierkegaard and Regine Olsen to be one of the better attempts at explicating Soren. But for a long time, I could not unpack the intent of the title. I certainly know what form is, and how concerned with it that SK was. But not until I substituted the word 'Media' did it click for this 20th Century guy. You can also swap in 'Art'; for SK and his time the best word would be 'Literature.'
When we search for another in life, that special person, it is generally assumed that both parties are seeking not just a partner for sex, but also that ‘other half’ that Plato so dramatically dramatized. We seek something we think might be missing in us. The promise of romantic love is not sex per se. Certainly initial attraction is pregnant with the promise of sex, but the promise of love is the promise of a different kind of fulfillment. It is a psychological promise not a physical one. It promises a sort of fulfillment in itself. You will be made whole. The outsize promises of romantic love share an affinity with the outsize promises of religion, with the subtle exception that romantic love will only keep you whole in this life. As it became obvious to more and more people that this was the only life you were going to get, poets and thinkers began to substitute the search for Love for the search for God. After the Enlightenment, these people were called, appropriately enough, Romantics.
Do you think you have been 'called' to do something, or that you were 'meant' or 'destined' to play some role? Why? Does it involve you becoming famous or well-known or respected and revered by posterity?
There are dominant two spheres in life wherein I think humans consistently dissimulate or play 'politics'; sex and religion. It does not matter to me that the latter is no longer a valid form of life in its metaphysical expression. The play of the promises of religion over our psyches, the promise of eternal life, eternal damnation for the wicked, etc. make navigating the social world - especially for young people - anxious and problematic, especially when imaginatively extended into the future with such questions as 'I wonder what type of parent this sex partner would make...?'
I would say have sex not just before marriage - but before your first date. Don't even talk. Get all the animal stuff out of the way first. Find out if you kids work together in that way. Kids. If you think you want to continue at that point, then go on your first date. Begin the 'small' talk. Find out if the narratives inside your head converge. Spill the real god dirt.
Do you think you have been 'called' to do something, or that you were 'meant' or 'destined' to play some role? Why? Does it involve you becoming famous or well-known or respected and revered by posterity?
There are dominant two spheres in life wherein I think humans consistently dissimulate or play 'politics'; sex and religion. It does not matter to me that the latter is no longer a valid form of life in its metaphysical expression. The play of the promises of religion over our psyches, the promise of eternal life, eternal damnation for the wicked, etc. make navigating the social world - especially for young people - anxious and problematic, especially when imaginatively extended into the future with such questions as 'I wonder what type of parent this sex partner would make...?'
I would say have sex not just before marriage - but before your first date. Don't even talk. Get all the animal stuff out of the way first. Find out if you kids work together in that way. Kids. If you think you want to continue at that point, then go on your first date. Begin the 'small' talk. Find out if the narratives inside your head converge. Spill the real god dirt.
